May 22

I am so failing at this everyday posting thing.

I leave for a retreat today!
I should be working on my lab report instead of this! But it's ok because I will pull all nighters after the retreat to finish it! I'm gonna regret it so much.

I'm nervous / anxious about being a small group leader. I wanted to be one and I know that I will grow spiritually through this experience, but it is so... stressful? I know, it shouldn't be. I should be willing to do this and it is an honorable / happy thing to do. It's because I'm a perfectionist -- as a small group leader, I want to be a "role model". But you know what, I'm imperfect and that's ok. I can't be a perfect leader because I'm only human. I am praying that God will put the right words in my mouth to speak to those in my group and that I will do whatever at his will. I am praying for wisdom and the heart to talk to each one of these people individually and that they will open up to me. I am not as nervous for this one as Theophilus, but I want to do a better job this time. I want to pour love on them as how God poured love on us. I want to be the one they go to when they feel the need to talk to someone. I want to be someone they can trust and lean on for the weekend. I just pray that I'll be able to be that person.

I'll write about my experience at the retreat when I come back!

And I pray that we'll all make there safely and come back safely and healthy.