What is a healthy body?

I'm seen as healthy and normal in the U.S., but to my aunt from Korea, I've "gained weight", I have extra fat, I'm chubby, you get the point.
I am fine with my body. I would like to be healthier as in exercising more and eating nutritional foods, but other than that, I'm pretty comfortable in my own body. I have fully functioning legs, arms, fingers, eyes, ears, brain, heart, lungs... I am healthy and alive.
Yet most Korean people are mainly concerned about their appearance more than their health. Is it really worth it to torture your own body to achieve a certain look? Is it really worth it to get that selfish, temporary satisfaction?
Why are you so concerned about your appearance? I know, a leaner and fitter body sometimes indicates health, but it gets out of control to the point where you're obsessed with having a certain type of body. I hope the media will stop promoting that skinny means pretty.
You are worth more than your appearance. Achieving a certain look is merely a temporary satisfaction.

I'm not saying to not exercise / eat healthier to lose weight if you're not comfortable with your body. If you think it'll make you happy, go for it -- but do it with right intentions.

6/19

I've started watching this korean drama "Kill me, Heal me"
I am already on episode 17. Ha.. ha... but this drama is goooood. The storyline is eh but the acting and characters / what they say are so good. I never knew I would be convicted by a drama. Especially this:
"Are you going to suffer alone, by yourself? Then what about us? What do I say to mom who cooks all day for you? What, do you want me to tell her 'she wants to go through this struggle alone so ignore her'? What should I say to dad who sobs in secret because his heart is so torn up because of you? Do you really want me to tell him 'she said she'll deal with this pain by herself so ignore her'? Why do you have to make it so that we can't help you? Why?"

This hits home so hard.

We are wired to store and hide our most painful memory in the deepest part of our brain. I have shared parts of this memory with others but not in detail. It's good to keep the details to self, but when I was sharing, I wasn't concerned about this; I was just afraid to dig it all up. I'm always scared that I will "romanticize the past" or feel like complete shit again. It's good to not bring it all up BUT it's not good that I am scared to face it. Why am I afraid? Why am I afraid to feel that way again? I thought I knew the way out of it? If I escaped from it once, if I know the way out of it now, I should be able to face it now, right?
When I'm ready, I want to reflect on everything in the past. Every single thing. Not a summary of my story. I want a detailed novel.

And
lol my freshman 15 losing thing probs isn't gonna work whatever

Summer lust list

Trying to like colors...

Someone explain to me what color is...

I'm not a vegetarian anymore?

I have been a vegetarian more than a year. I wasn't a perfect vegetarian; I had animal product here and there when my other people would take time and effort to make me something that involved animals. But I would immediately feel guilty and almost feel anxious to consume such thing, so it was hard for me to distinguish if I feared eating meat or if I truly cared about animals. I've concluded that I really am against eating animals -- but some things I can't resist. Vegetarianism is all about trying, not being a "perfect" vegetarian. I crave sushi here and there (because I absolutely love salmon), so I am going to eat it when I really want it. I had it tonight, and I didn't feel so bad about eating it. I haven't had it in a year, so it was so nice to finally eat it -- something I've been craving for awhile. Call me a pescetarian or whatever, but I am still going to identify myself as a vegetarian, as someone who mainly sticks to a plant-based diet. I would never eat meat though because I feel like the texture of cooked meat would be like the texture of my own skin if it were cooked. I genuinely do not like it and I am very against animal farming / slaughterhouses. I know fish industry is pretty bad too, and that is why I am going to limit my intake of salmon. If everyone just participated at least in meatless Mondays or just limited their intake of any animal, this world would be such a better place.

Update: I got a really bad stomachache after eating salmon. Maybe it's not good for me...

It's finally Summer!

SO crazy to think that my first year in college is over. I am so incredibly thankful for the people I met and all the ups and downs I had. I don't want to focus on bad things so here are some accomplishments from my first year:

• I refound my faith in February. This is something I will cherish forever. 
• In all of my classes I got 97%+ this term except for chem lab (but whatever) and I am really proud of myself for that.
• I told myself I was going to save my GPA after fall term and I did!
• I met my future roommates and some of the most kind-hearted people
• I've changed a lot for the better

There are so many more of little-r accomplishments, but then the list would go on and on... 

Overall, I feel so blessed to have had such an amazing time in college.