How do you relationship

Ok. I am not just saying this because I am lonely or whatever. I seriously think I am going to be single for rest of my life. I don't think I will ever be ready for a relationship or even a fling. While my friend was talking about her boy problems and how she is not ready for a relationship, it made me think about my love life. I have never had an actual relationship and never "loved" someone before. I am only 19 and it is perfectly fine that I have never been in a relationship, but it makes me wonder why I never had one. Here are some reasons why I think I never really had a boy friend:

1. Liking someone is scary
2. Trust issues
3. Commitment is scary
4. My heart is never ready
5. I'm not interested in anyone 
6. I have too much going on in my life
7. I am happy alone
8. Maybe high standards? (but trust me, I don't really have that high of standards)
9. Insecurities

I am perfectly content being single, but it's just other people that make me feel lonely as heck sometimes. And it's almost like peer pressure to be in a relationship or to like someone because I'm always the one that doesn't like anyone. 

Well, I got a good enough list going on there so I guess those are the reasons why I'm single. 

I need to study for my midterms but this is just bothering me so much for some reason haha. I don't even know. Maybe there are more reasons.. I think I just need time to think about it and pray about it too. 

Who knew that I would say "I'll pray about it." It's funny because I am gradually? (I don't know if that is the right word) slowly? somehow? starting to accept God. Ok. This is totally off topic but.. I do believe in God. It's just that I have hard time processing that in my head. I still don't believe that Jesus died on the cross for US. I believe there was Jesus, a human being, but I am still quite unsure if he was God's son and who died for our sins. I'm going to read more books about it after midterms are done. I'm actually so excited to read haha. 

Crap. I totally about scholarship essays. 

Crap.