August 26

Hawaii day 5!

- hiking up to Diamond head view point!

through the tunnel

up these stairs

First set of stairs were manageable

second one was hell

up these metal stairs

and now we're here!

so gorgeous.

It started sprinkling when we were heading back down and started raining when we were running to the car. Thank goodness we were at the top when it was clear!

Acai bowl for the first time! It was delicious!

We checked out of hilton and went to Shirokiya for the last time :( 

checked in at Disney Aulani! Service was not even comparable to Hilton (which sucked a lot) and we received those flower necklaces just like we did at Royal Hawaiian last winter! Perks of expensive hotels.

The place was absolutely breathtaking. It is a child's heaven... No, it's everyone's dream.

We went to the lounge because we checked in early so our room wasn't ready.

- hit up the pools to swim

-started off with a slide to lazy river pool.

-went to every single pool with my brother and my dad and we hit up the beach too.

my brother and I snorkeled there too!

I think I deserve the best sister award.

August 25

Hawaii day 4!

- went to Hanauma Bay again! 

- my brother and Yulbee (my mom's friend's daughter) kept touching the fishies

- my mother snorkeled again!

- went parasailing

- yeah, that's 1000ft sticker right there.

- I don't think this is us, but here we have Yulbee, my dad, and my brother doing 600ft.

- I went with Sara and her dad (because we were too light so her dad did it for free) haha.

- 1000ft rope and 400-500ft high up.

- I thought it would be scary but it was rather relaxing. But as someone who's scared of heights, I was  hanging on very tightly. I was scared that I'd fall off because it was like an unstable swing haha.

- It was fun especially when they dipped our feet in the water.

walking back to the hotel was excruciating because it was super hot. so my dad and i ran and dove into the ocean spontaneously and it was probably one of the most fun things I've done this Summer. And of course, everyone eventually joined us.

My dad got reallllllllllly tan.

That Japanese cheesecake was so amazing. I died and went to food heaven.

Here's my Japanese bento box I got from Shirokiya, Japanese food court.

A little peak at Hilton village

August 24

Hawaii day 3!

- woke up early to go to Hanauma Bay 

- saw many many fish and a big turtle too!!!

- also saw a humongous fish that looks like a monster

- the water wasn't as cold as it was in the winter so I really liked it and there were more kinds of fish this time. and my mother also snorkeled! 

I followed this little guy around hahaha Nemooooooo

- went to the blowhole lookout 

- the beach is gorgeous

-stood here and got splashed by water big time

- went to Goofy's Dine ? (totally forgot the name) this pasta was bomb. I only like pasta with tomato sauce but this oily pasta totally blew my mind. It was like some oil pasta with mushrooms and fried caramelized onions.. yeah, I died.

- kona coffee ice cream mixed with coffee sherbet to finish it off!

- the view from a family friend's room. They had a suite so of course they had this amazing view.

August 23

Hawaii day 2!

- woke up early to go ocean snorkeling

- super duper fun and the view from the catamaran was amazing as well

- catamaran ride was really fun too. it was really fast so the water splashed all over

- we went dolphin watching first

- we first wanted to swim with the dolphins (not in the sea), but my mother and I now am against caging animals for people pleasure so we didn't do that. Also, we were thinking about swimming with the dolphins IN the sea, but it's not allowed / discouraged, so we decided to just go with dolphin watching.

- later when we were heading back to the island, the dolphins swam beside us (the catamaran) so that was really cool. and this picture was taken then.

- snorkeling fuuuuun

-we saw many many fish and we also saw a TURTLE!!!!! A BIG ONE!!! I didn't get to take a picture because our camera had some problem but ugh, it was so gorgeous.  We also saw a turtle at Hanauma Bay but again, no pictures. I'm so bummed that I didn't get to take a picture of them!

- my brother kept following the turtle 

- the guide was pretty cute

- lunch served. I was craving macaroni salad and this totally satisfied my craving.

- this was the first time i had purple sweet potatoes and i fucking fell in love.

- headed back to the hotel and swam in the lagoon + pools again.

- yeah, i kind of love my Triangl bikini.

We went to infamous Marukame Udon for dinner. 

My brother was throwing up outside the entire dinner, but other than that, I was in heaven. I had the salad udon and it was so amazing and the tempura was amazing as well. I love Japanese food.

Everyone was super tired by the end of the day so we all just knocked out.

August 22

- I got about an hour of sleep

- my brother threw up because he was too excited

- we headed out around 4:20am 

- brother threw up on the plane. he's sick because he's too excited I guess.

As you can see, he's all tired from throwing up on the plane. He felt sick pretty much the whole trip but not really at Disney because he was too busy playing. Anyway, we arrived at 10:30am Hawaii time.

-rented a car and checked in at Hilton hotel. It is Hilton "village" so there are shops and multiple buildings that makes it seem like a hotel village.

-went to a korean restaurant to eat lunch (this was the only korean restaurant we went to thank god)

went back to the hotel and played in the lagoon with my brother. It was pretty cold because it was all cloudy / showering here and there but it was fun.

Fireworks before we headed out to dinner!

(picture was taken on the last day I visited this place)

We ate at this place. It's like a japanese food court and everything is so amazing there. This is probably one of the things I miss the most about Hawaii.

I felt like I was in Japan. Everyone was speaking Japanese to me and I understood like few words. Not gonna lie, I felt pretty amazing for understanding few words hahahahaha.

We went to sleep early because we were going ocean snorkeling the next day! I was super excited and thank goodness to three hour difference in time, I could fall asleep early around 9pm Hawaii time (which is 12am here).

Overcoming (teenage) depression

Depression is ugly and vicious. You probably won't realize that you have a problem until it takes control of your life because it kills you slowly and quietly. Although I'm neither a doctor nor a depression survivor that was clinically diagnosed with it, I know for a fact that I had a very dark time in my life when there was not a day I didn't cry, throw a fit, think of unpleasant things, and etc. I feel like it was my hormonal imbalance as a teenager that caused me to go through this depression, combining with my volatile personality and other problems that I had.

This is a post about how I overcame my own struggles (and suggestions of how to overcome it). I am writing this to remind myself that I am happy. I am writing this for my future self, in case I fall back into the pit again. I am writing this for my own good.

• You do not have to be "clinically depressed" to be depressed. You do not have to be "depressed enough" to be depressed. When you are depressed, you are depressed. 
• Talk about what makes you sad and angry with the one you trust. Do not hold anything back. Let it all out and cry in their arms. Get a therapist / talk to a counselor if you need to. Mental health is as important as or even more important than your physical health. 
• Practice talking about your feelings. Do not bottle up anything. You'll feel empty afterwards, but trust me, it's better than letting it rot inside of you.
• Go out of your comfort zone often. It is scary, but it is so worth it. 
• Interact with people. I know that people wear you out sometimes and it is scary for you to meet new people, but surprisingly, they sometimes make you happy too. Be around them and absorb all their good energy.
• Go outside. Don't stay home all day crying about your (not so) miserable life. Get out there and just go explore different places or just go shopping. Just don't stay inside all day.
• Hang out with your family more often. They love you no matter what. 
• Remember that you are not a failure. You have all these years in front of you and you can change anything you want to. You made a mistake? a huge one? so what? life goes on.
• Have hope. I know it's a silly thing to tell someone to have hope when she/he is going through depression, so let me phrase it differently. It's not the end of the world. If you end your life now, imagine how many things you won't be able to do and accomplish. You have a tomorrow to look forward to; give yourself another chance -- even if you don't think you deserve one. 
• What if you were your own daughter? Would you want your daughter to hate every single inch of herself? Would you want your daughter to kill herself? 
• Time will heal everything. Just be patient.
• You are not a disappointment. You live for yourself and nobody else.
• And it's ok to be depressed. No, you're not a burden because you are depressed. It is not your fault that you're struggling. Remember that you're not a disappointment because you are depressed. Just take small steps to improve your mental health for yourself, not because you don't want to be a burden. You are incredible no matter what your depression says to you.

After going through such struggles, I started having passion for life. I want to live so desperately. Though life has its shitty moments, those moments all pass, and you'll eventually forget about them because you'll be awestruck by how beautiful life is. I am incredibly grateful that I am alive, and honestly, if it weren't for my stupid depression, I wouldn't be this grateful. 

I don't blame life for having me suffer in the past since it made me appreciate everything so much more, and it made me stronger than ever. Yea. Love ya, life.