Motivation Monday?

My parents are probably the only ones who didn't like me wanting to be a dentist. My mother now says she supports me no matter what (first time ever hearing that ever ever ever in my life) and my dad probably is still salty that I'm not taking his advice and going to medical school. I'm really stressed out but I'm managing everything -- I think at least. I want it to be like this throughout this entire year and on. I want to have my shit together all the time.. because if I don't, I break down and yea. I know that I got super sad in the beginning of the year because all my friends seemed so carefree and they just hung out 24/7 while I was stuck at my desk trying to organize my life and get my shit together for the upcoming year. I still do get a little bitter thinking about my workload compared to theirs.. but I mean, I want to be a dentist. and it is worth sacrificing my nonexisting-anyway-social-life-kind-of-thing. Study hard Rachel, and be the best dentist out there. Even though I kind of don't.. I believe in you!!! Haha... my lack of self confidence is like pathetic, but I'm working on it. Yeah who's gonna believe in me if I don't even believe in myself?!

Remember these verses:

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14

Remind yourself of your ultimate goal everyday, and know that God is with you always.
He will be with you through it all because he knows that you are doing it to glorify him.

Nice self-talk. Peace out.

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Me and vegetarianism update:
I am not "vegetarian" anymore. I just eat mostly foods other than animal flesh. But I like sushi and can't give up sushi so I eat it but not often obviously because I'm a broke college student. It's funny because I am now tempted to eat like spam and ham and I think it's fine to eat it but then when I think of actual pork and chicken, I get disgusted. I think it's the actual flesh that turns me off -- but then when I REALLY crave the taste, I would eat it.
People do not understand this logic of having a mostly plant-based diet, so I just tell them I'm a vegetarian. Sigh.

My life lately:

• overwhelming amount of stuff to do
• Human anatomy&physiology is gonna be the end of me -- but i am surviving.. for now. SO much reading and SO much info being thrown at me to memorize.
• ochem is fun for now. i might minor in chemistry! -- just to have something to back me up if i fail in life i don't know.. this means i need to make an advising appointment.
• freshman team thing was busy/stressful last week but it's fine now because we're not planning anything
• i am B R O K E ! i've been spending WAY too much money! textbook, futon, bills, eating out, retreat.. i thought I would have more money left by now but it's scary how I used it all up! no more eating out for me this month. i "earned" some money by selling textbooks too but it's barely anything now..
• i am trying to get into a research lab! i had my interview today so i'm hoping that i get the position! i get to work with fruit flies and it makes me feel like a cool nerd
• i need to practice the cello....... lol..... i feel so awkward to practice it when my roommates are around though.
• i need to stay on top of my things this year forrrrr rrrrrrrreeeeeeeeaaal.
• i need to run errands tomorrow.
• i've been having a very hard time waking up... my bed is so comfortable :(
• i need to exercise because i feel like crap. and i will do that tomorrow if i wake up early enough.
• kinda just want to study 24/7 and not socialize sometimes

GOALS FOR THIS YEAR:

• - Do not worry about tomorrow. Focus on today.
• - Do not fear anything. ANYTHING. Don’t let fear stop me from doing something that I want to do.
• - Be open. Be open to people and new experiences.
• - Do not judge others. Seriously though. 
• - Exercise regularly and wake up somewhat early. Exercising always gives me energy so DO IT. 
• - Go to class. Seriously. Go to class. GO TO CLASS.
• - Be on top of things most of the times. Don’t be lazy. DO NOT BE LAZY.
• - Do not walk home super late at night alone. (esp that I live off campus now) Seriously don’t.
• - GET. SHIT. DONE.

9 years

I leave for Korea today. It hasn't hit me yet.
It's been 9 years. 9 years of learning a new language and culture, trying to blend in and hide my own culture at one point. It's funny because I am more familiar with American culture and Alphabets now.
I don't know if I'm gonna tear up when I land in Korea. A half of my life was spent there yet I don't remember it all that much. I just know that 9 years ago, my life, my brother's, and my parents' lives were forever changed. It's weird looking back. I was in 4th grade, so eager to move to the U.S... I don't quite remember why -- I think my mom just asked me if I wanted to and I said yea without thinking all that much. I always liked visiting my grandparents in the U.S. so I think that's maybe why I wanted to move here. First few years in the U.S. were actually not all that difficult for me other than worrying about my parents constantly. It's after those years that I realized how much effort I put in to do well at school and be independent. I still remember the first day at school in March of my 4th grade year. During art time, everyone drew lines and shapes with a pencil, so I, having no idea what our teacher told us to draw, just drew bunch of lines and shapes as well. I still have no idea what we were supposed to draw. And ugh, I don't even know why I picked the name Rachel. I couldn't even pronounce it at first. It's weird because I immediately respond whenever someone calls out Rachel, but my name could have been Stephanie, Tina, Jennifer, or Jessica.
Enough rambling. I should probably take a nap (haha..) before I leave to the airport at 4am.
I can't believe I'm actually going.

K-pop? Not really?

I hate how Korean music is just classified as "K-pop". There's SO much more to Korean music than idol groups (although i must admit i kinda like big bang and 2ne1). So here are some good Korean music:

Wi ing Wi ing - Hyukoh

(!!!new favorite!!!)

Happy Ending (feat. Jinsil and Gary) - Primary

(all time favorite. I love Jinsil's voice)

I get lifted x Beenzino - Peejay

(I love Beenzino heheh)

Dear - Mad Soul Child

(I didn't know it was Jinsil who sang this!)

Zion T, Bumkey, and Verbal Jint are pretty good too but I haven't found a catchy song by them yet.

YAS. BE GONE MERS.

South Korea is considering announcing an end to the Middle East Respiratory Syndrome outbreak in early August if no new cases are confirmed by then, a government official said Thursday.

http://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20150716000911

FINALLY. ABOUT TIME.

Dream apartment = Industrial & Minimalistic

1. I love the bed / bed frame (dark wood color)

2. I love the headboard and everything except for the frame above

3. I like how they used the woody stool as the nightstand. & I like the clipped on lights too with modern pictures in frames.

4. This is a good idea to maximize the space on the bathroom counter

5. I want this backpack!

6. Woody (I prefer darker though) desk with black legs. Love.

7. This bed frame thing is so chic yet elegant and bohemian. 

8. Absolutely LOVE this mug!!

9. This one is cute as well!

10. This notebook is so chic I love it.

11. This seems so useful.

12. This is a cool DIY idea. 

13. I'd totally do this one!

14. I am in LOVE with this wood pattern!!!!!!! It's from CB2. Why so expensive :(

15. I adore clear chairs / clear furnitures! esp mixing with woody things + black furnitures = YAS.

16. This would be perfect in a living room.

And Big Bang's Bae Bae is stuck in my head. WHY. I keep listening to it and singing along... WHY.

But their song Loser is actually good.