Going back to reality

3.26.15

had 16 hours of sleep which was glorious. but it totally ruined my plan of having an eventful sunny day. i did absolutely nothing today except eating and being lazy. it's nice to unwind and just have a completely relaxing day, but when i don't keep myself occupied, i get so stressed out. yeah, weird. it's like i'm being chased by time, which i am since spring break is almost over. and this laziness is making me annoyed at the littlest things (if that makes any sense) and the fact that my mom and i are both sick is not helping. i just want to sleep forever and be alone rather than spending time with my family or friends. i don't want to ignore or be rude to any of them, but i really can't help it right now. 

I watched the movie "Her" today. The color scheme of the film was beautiful, and that was about it. I know that the ratings are good and I can see why they would be, but I personally did not find the movie very captivating. Maybe it's because I couldn't relate to it or could relate to it a little too much. I don't know. Theodore falls in love with a computer program. Yea, many fell in love with the program as it spoke, thought, and "felt" like a human being. But it wasn't just because of that for Theodore; he was in such a vulnerable state of loneliness. He had recently gotten divorced, still loved his ex wife, and it was like he just desperately needed someone to be a little ray of sunshine in his life. As he mentions, he needed someone who was so enthusiastic about life. When Samantha (the program) left, he was left "heartbroken" but I feel like he was more sad about losing a company rather than brokenhearted. I don't know, that is just my interpretation. The movie kinda reminds me of Eternal Sunshine, but Eternal Sunshine is way more dynamic than this movie, and I like dynamic movies so yeah. 

And I need to remember that I need to have a healthy relationship with myself. I am constantly disappointed at myself, I stress myself out, and I dislike everything that I am. I need to love and appreciate the person that God made me to be.