Finals are over

3/12/15
- Had one of the worst anxiety attacks ever
- Nightmare of shooting at my school / in my dorm
- Anxiety / stress about my grades
- I have to constantly remind myself my grades do not define me
- But my grades ARE important for my future
- I need to work harder
- I need to learn to balance things. But I need to get my PRIORITIES straight.
- At this point, my social life does not matter at all.
- I need to stop comparing my life to other people's lives.
- I need to stop worrying / being so anxious about things.

3/16/15
- I have been praying more and reading God's words more. This has helped me TREMENDOUSLY. God is so good.
- My friend asked me yesterday, "how are you so calm when you have two finals tomorrow?" I was like oh, I seem calm? wha? But I really was calm compared to past couple days when I was having anxiety attacks basically everyday. The only thing I did differently was that I kept praying for wisdom and guidance. And God actually answered my prayers -- how crazy is that? My old self would say that it is a coincidence and that I just got over my panic mode because time heals everything, but I don't think so. I was having anxiety attacks. I was terrified that I would disappoint myself again this term. I would beat myself up for not trying hard enough or think that I'm not smart / good enough. These anxieties and stress were weighing me down and I didn't know what to do. But as I prayed, God lifted all these off my shoulders. I truly believe it was him.
- Here are some good verses that I've read this past month. I've highlighted so many and I don't want to forget about them so I'm posting them on here:

Faith

• 2 Corinthians 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.
• John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Anxiety/Worry

• Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord, plans for peace and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
• Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will protect your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
• Psalsm 94:18-19, Psalms 94:22. When I said "My foot slips,"your mercy, O Lord, held me up. When there is a multitude of worries within me, your comforts delight my soul. / But the Lord is my defense, and my God is the rock of my refuge.
• Mathew 6:25, Mathew 6:33-34. "Therefore, I say to you, take no thought about your life, what you will eat, or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body than clothing? / But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be given to you. Therefore, take no thought about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take thought about the things of itself. Sufficient to the day is the trouble thereof.
• Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
• Philippians 1:6 I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ.
• 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your care upon Him, because He cares for you.
• 1 Peter 5:10 But after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called us to His eternal glory through Christ Jesus, will restore, support, strengthen, and establish you.
• John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."
• Joshua 1:9 Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be you dismayed: for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
• Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

His love

• Luke 15:24 For this son of mine was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.' So they began to merry.
• 2 Corinthians 5:17-18 Therefore, if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature. Old things have passed away. Look, all things have become new. All this is from God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ and has given to us the ministry of reconciliation.
• John 10:10 The thief does not come, except to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
• 1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Teachings

• Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
• 1 Corinthians 6:19 What? Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God, and that you are not your own?
• Colossians 3:5-17. Put away idols and anger... Embrace love...  Be thankful... Do all in the name of the Lord Jesus...
• James 3:13, 17-18. Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show his works by his good life in the meekness of wisdom. / But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
• Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think on these things. Do those things which you have both learned and received, and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.
• Isaiah 26:4 Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord we have an everlasting rock.
• Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and learn not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make yours paths straight.

OH, and

It is... SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Goals for this break:

- Actually touch my cello. touch.

- Email the conductor about joining next year (to save a spot for me)

- Get GLASSES and CONTACTS

- Get myself life applications bible

- Dentist appointment. Talk to her about job shadowing.

- Hiking

- Ask about the Korea volunteering thing. & turn in my applications

- Textbooks & Download