New Year's Resolutions:

2016:

1. All A's
2. Practice cello
3. Make time for friends
4. Make time for myself
5. Work on my relationship with God
6. Work out
7. Eat healthy
8. Take care of myself and do whatever makes me feel good
9. Be OK with myself everyday
10. Don't take on too much
11. But try my best
12. Learn that it's ok to be not be ok

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2015's resolutions recap:
1. Use that brain of mine to do something productive and meaningful like research or something.
I work in a lab now and I have to come up with a project this break... sigh...
2. Try to write all the random thoughts that pop up in my head throughout the day.
3. Adventure more. Hiking. Camping. Traveling.
4. Be optimistic.
5. Figure out who I am (cheesy as hell but I need to). I can be so many different people but try to pin point my personality as a whole (ok that's not possible but ugh). I don't know. It's just that I don't really know what I'm like so I can't really "be myself" and show "my true self" to others. I want to be the SAME person to everyone. I don't want people to see different parts of me; I want them to see me as a whole.
I am ok with myself now; I'm not as self-conscious around people as I was before.
6. Balancing school and fun is important, but remember how screwed up my GPA is. Keep my grades up. All A's and I mean it. Work really hard so that I won't regret it.
I half accomplished this. At least I got all A's winter and spring quarter.
7. Take a class that I'm interested in. I can always S/U it if it is difficult.
8. Make money.
9. Use the planner.
10. DON'T SKIP CLASSES IN A ROW. JUST DON'T SKIP ANY UNLESS I AM SICK/REALLYREALLYREALLY TIRED.
^ LOL. but seriously, I cannot skip anymore...
11. Go to the library OFTEN and study there. Get a study buddy to so they can watch my stuff when I have to go pee.
12. Run. run. run. Go to the gym. Also do some ab workouts, HITT, squats, and other strength exercises.
13. Drink A LOT of water.
14. Use my nespresso!
15. Be less insecure. Be comfortable in my own body and be proud of who I am. Tell myself that I am an awesome human being and there are people in this world that love me so there's a great possibility that there are more people out there who will also love me.
16. Connect with people. Go out of my way and ask them out on a coffee date or something. Step out of my comfort zone. I am going to need to interact with more people later on so why not start practicing.
17. Job shadow more. Find what I am really interested in and passionate about.
18. Use my dining dollars.
19. Practice my cello and join the orchestra.
20. Dress up more. I have clothes for a reason.
21. Actually try to wear makeup too. I don't need it but it definitely is a confidence booster.
22. Use my school resources. After all, I am paying for it.
23. Love myself. This year will be finally the year that I learn to love every part of myself completely.

Getting some inspiration / motivation from Pinterest

for healthy life / room DIY / I guess studying too..

1) First off, room / apartment DIYs. My room is so bland (and so is my apartment) so I want to add some decorations / do something to my empty wall. Sucks how I have to share a room with a roommate so I can't have her match everything with my side, but oh well. 

These washi tape crosses are super cute

Or this constellation 

Definitely doing a DIY grid board!

I think I have used up perfume bottles to do this! Also, I might just get bunch of fake flowers and plants and stuff them in jars.

I want a giant calendar for my room

This is super cool too.

I want a gallery wall for my room / apartment

2) Now on to healthy life... sigh

My body has been through a lot past couple weeks -- alcohol, no exercising, overeating, junk food, late night snacking... pretty much a typical college student life but sadly, I don't feel good about myself when I keep doing this to my body. I should keep up with my plant based diet for my body (my grandma gave me a long talk about eating veggies today sigh lol) and stop eating ramen at night.. I know eating junk food sometimes isn't bad but in future times I don't want to be forced to eat it just because of social aspect of it -- like late mcdonalds run. no more. never. And I need to start exercising again because my body literally feels like a ball that can't do anything. 

Make a better fucking choice, Rachel.

How cute and delicious does this look?!

Doesn't this look way better than chips??!

Look you can do some meal planning ahead of time so that you won't get pizza

3) Next week is dead week. I have decided that I am going to all day everyday (because if I don't I am literally gonna die). No socializing whatsoever. Just study 24/7. I have all my finals on Monday and Tuesday. Yeah. I am going to suffer miserably.. but I will survive... maybe. I need some real motivation because I haven't gotten anything done at home yet. I will do this fucking ochem homework, do some study questions for Anatomy. Tomorrow I will do rest of ochem/go over video lecture, geo homework, and do more Anatomy questions and memorize damn muscles for lab. Fuck memorization though. It's literally impossible to get an A....... I literally have to get all A's on my finals... I mean I did last year but that's a different story. I am now in 300 level classes and shit is real.. esp anatomy. I need to get my shit together and go to office hours / review sessions too (though there will be only one this week). Omg. I literally need to study my ass off. Help.

Gifts for friends?

Random apartment decorations are always nice

I need more silverware!! because sometimes we get too lazy to do dishes

 -- so preferably cute ones would make nice gift

Who doesn't love stuffed vegetables?!

These are so cute!

Cute bowls are so cute lol 

Fake plants yes

Who doesn't want more cushions?

And pug cushions?

And lunch boxes? You can pack your lunch AND dinner for those long library days.

For that friend who's obsessed with sushi

For that DAB friend

This is so adorable

Wall decoration how cute

Tea cup so fancy

How about fun card game?

Ok when did I start sounding super sarcastic

I need this

I need this strainer thing too

Paper towel holder

Dish rack thingy

Whisk

Laundry drying rack

After coming to college / moving into apartment,

I feel like all me and my friends want are like practical things for our place & decorations for it. 

I need to revamp my closet..

Motivation Monday?

My parents are probably the only ones who didn't like me wanting to be a dentist. My mother now says she supports me no matter what (first time ever hearing that ever ever ever in my life) and my dad probably is still salty that I'm not taking his advice and going to medical school. I'm really stressed out but I'm managing everything -- I think at least. I want it to be like this throughout this entire year and on. I want to have my shit together all the time.. because if I don't, I break down and yea. I know that I got super sad in the beginning of the year because all my friends seemed so carefree and they just hung out 24/7 while I was stuck at my desk trying to organize my life and get my shit together for the upcoming year. I still do get a little bitter thinking about my workload compared to theirs.. but I mean, I want to be a dentist. and it is worth sacrificing my nonexisting-anyway-social-life-kind-of-thing. Study hard Rachel, and be the best dentist out there. Even though I kind of don't.. I believe in you!!! Haha... my lack of self confidence is like pathetic, but I'm working on it. Yeah who's gonna believe in me if I don't even believe in myself?!

Remember these verses:

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14

Remind yourself of your ultimate goal everyday, and know that God is with you always.
He will be with you through it all because he knows that you are doing it to glorify him.

Nice self-talk. Peace out.

--------

Me and vegetarianism update:
I am not "vegetarian" anymore. I just eat mostly foods other than animal flesh. But I like sushi and can't give up sushi so I eat it but not often obviously because I'm a broke college student. It's funny because I am now tempted to eat like spam and ham and I think it's fine to eat it but then when I think of actual pork and chicken, I get disgusted. I think it's the actual flesh that turns me off -- but then when I REALLY crave the taste, I would eat it.
People do not understand this logic of having a mostly plant-based diet, so I just tell them I'm a vegetarian. Sigh.

My life lately:

• overwhelming amount of stuff to do
• Human anatomy&physiology is gonna be the end of me -- but i am surviving.. for now. SO much reading and SO much info being thrown at me to memorize.
• ochem is fun for now. i might minor in chemistry! -- just to have something to back me up if i fail in life i don't know.. this means i need to make an advising appointment.
• freshman team thing was busy/stressful last week but it's fine now because we're not planning anything
• i am B R O K E ! i've been spending WAY too much money! textbook, futon, bills, eating out, retreat.. i thought I would have more money left by now but it's scary how I used it all up! no more eating out for me this month. i "earned" some money by selling textbooks too but it's barely anything now..
• i am trying to get into a research lab! i had my interview today so i'm hoping that i get the position! i get to work with fruit flies and it makes me feel like a cool nerd
• i need to practice the cello....... lol..... i feel so awkward to practice it when my roommates are around though.
• i need to stay on top of my things this year forrrrr rrrrrrrreeeeeeeeaaal.
• i need to run errands tomorrow.
• i've been having a very hard time waking up... my bed is so comfortable :(
• i need to exercise because i feel like crap. and i will do that tomorrow if i wake up early enough.
• kinda just want to study 24/7 and not socialize sometimes

GOALS FOR THIS YEAR:

• - Do not worry about tomorrow. Focus on today.
• - Do not fear anything. ANYTHING. Don’t let fear stop me from doing something that I want to do.
• - Be open. Be open to people and new experiences.
• - Do not judge others. Seriously though. 
• - Exercise regularly and wake up somewhat early. Exercising always gives me energy so DO IT. 
• - Go to class. Seriously. Go to class. GO TO CLASS.
• - Be on top of things most of the times. Don’t be lazy. DO NOT BE LAZY.
• - Do not walk home super late at night alone. (esp that I live off campus now) Seriously don’t.
• - GET. SHIT. DONE.

9 years

I leave for Korea today. It hasn't hit me yet.
It's been 9 years. 9 years of learning a new language and culture, trying to blend in and hide my own culture at one point. It's funny because I am more familiar with American culture and Alphabets now.
I don't know if I'm gonna tear up when I land in Korea. A half of my life was spent there yet I don't remember it all that much. I just know that 9 years ago, my life, my brother's, and my parents' lives were forever changed. It's weird looking back. I was in 4th grade, so eager to move to the U.S... I don't quite remember why -- I think my mom just asked me if I wanted to and I said yea without thinking all that much. I always liked visiting my grandparents in the U.S. so I think that's maybe why I wanted to move here. First few years in the U.S. were actually not all that difficult for me other than worrying about my parents constantly. It's after those years that I realized how much effort I put in to do well at school and be independent. I still remember the first day at school in March of my 4th grade year. During art time, everyone drew lines and shapes with a pencil, so I, having no idea what our teacher told us to draw, just drew bunch of lines and shapes as well. I still have no idea what we were supposed to draw. And ugh, I don't even know why I picked the name Rachel. I couldn't even pronounce it at first. It's weird because I immediately respond whenever someone calls out Rachel, but my name could have been Stephanie, Tina, Jennifer, or Jessica.
Enough rambling. I should probably take a nap (haha..) before I leave to the airport at 4am.
I can't believe I'm actually going.

K-pop? Not really?

I hate how Korean music is just classified as "K-pop". There's SO much more to Korean music than idol groups (although i must admit i kinda like big bang and 2ne1). So here are some good Korean music:

Wi ing Wi ing - Hyukoh

(!!!new favorite!!!)

Happy Ending (feat. Jinsil and Gary) - Primary

(all time favorite. I love Jinsil's voice)

I get lifted x Beenzino - Peejay

(I love Beenzino heheh)

Dear - Mad Soul Child

(I didn't know it was Jinsil who sang this!)

Zion T, Bumkey, and Verbal Jint are pretty good too but I haven't found a catchy song by them yet.

YAS. BE GONE MERS.

South Korea is considering announcing an end to the Middle East Respiratory Syndrome outbreak in early August if no new cases are confirmed by then, a government official said Thursday.

http://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20150716000911

FINALLY. ABOUT TIME.

Dream apartment = Industrial & Minimalistic

1. I love the bed / bed frame (dark wood color)

2. I love the headboard and everything except for the frame above

3. I like how they used the woody stool as the nightstand. & I like the clipped on lights too with modern pictures in frames.

4. This is a good idea to maximize the space on the bathroom counter

5. I want this backpack!

6. Woody (I prefer darker though) desk with black legs. Love.

7. This bed frame thing is so chic yet elegant and bohemian. 

8. Absolutely LOVE this mug!!

9. This one is cute as well!

10. This notebook is so chic I love it.

11. This seems so useful.

12. This is a cool DIY idea. 

13. I'd totally do this one!

14. I am in LOVE with this wood pattern!!!!!!! It's from CB2. Why so expensive :(

15. I adore clear chairs / clear furnitures! esp mixing with woody things + black furnitures = YAS.

16. This would be perfect in a living room.

And Big Bang's Bae Bae is stuck in my head. WHY. I keep listening to it and singing along... WHY.

But their song Loser is actually good.