9 years

I leave for Korea today. It hasn't hit me yet.
It's been 9 years. 9 years of learning a new language and culture, trying to blend in and hide my own culture at one point. It's funny because I am more familiar with American culture and Alphabets now.
I don't know if I'm gonna tear up when I land in Korea. A half of my life was spent there yet I don't remember it all that much. I just know that 9 years ago, my life, my brother's, and my parents' lives were forever changed. It's weird looking back. I was in 4th grade, so eager to move to the U.S... I don't quite remember why -- I think my mom just asked me if I wanted to and I said yea without thinking all that much. I always liked visiting my grandparents in the U.S. so I think that's maybe why I wanted to move here. First few years in the U.S. were actually not all that difficult for me other than worrying about my parents constantly. It's after those years that I realized how much effort I put in to do well at school and be independent. I still remember the first day at school in March of my 4th grade year. During art time, everyone drew lines and shapes with a pencil, so I, having no idea what our teacher told us to draw, just drew bunch of lines and shapes as well. I still have no idea what we were supposed to draw. And ugh, I don't even know why I picked the name Rachel. I couldn't even pronounce it at first. It's weird because I immediately respond whenever someone calls out Rachel, but my name could have been Stephanie, Tina, Jennifer, or Jessica.
Enough rambling. I should probably take a nap (haha..) before I leave to the airport at 4am.
I can't believe I'm actually going.

K-pop? Not really?

I hate how Korean music is just classified as "K-pop". There's SO much more to Korean music than idol groups (although i must admit i kinda like big bang and 2ne1). So here are some good Korean music:

Wi ing Wi ing - Hyukoh

(!!!new favorite!!!)

Happy Ending (feat. Jinsil and Gary) - Primary

(all time favorite. I love Jinsil's voice)

I get lifted x Beenzino - Peejay

(I love Beenzino heheh)

Dear - Mad Soul Child

(I didn't know it was Jinsil who sang this!)

Zion T, Bumkey, and Verbal Jint are pretty good too but I haven't found a catchy song by them yet.

YAS. BE GONE MERS.

South Korea is considering announcing an end to the Middle East Respiratory Syndrome outbreak in early August if no new cases are confirmed by then, a government official said Thursday.

http://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20150716000911

FINALLY. ABOUT TIME.

Dream apartment = Industrial & Minimalistic

1. I love the bed / bed frame (dark wood color)

2. I love the headboard and everything except for the frame above

3. I like how they used the woody stool as the nightstand. & I like the clipped on lights too with modern pictures in frames.

4. This is a good idea to maximize the space on the bathroom counter

5. I want this backpack!

6. Woody (I prefer darker though) desk with black legs. Love.

7. This bed frame thing is so chic yet elegant and bohemian. 

8. Absolutely LOVE this mug!!

9. This one is cute as well!

10. This notebook is so chic I love it.

11. This seems so useful.

12. This is a cool DIY idea. 

13. I'd totally do this one!

14. I am in LOVE with this wood pattern!!!!!!! It's from CB2. Why so expensive :(

15. I adore clear chairs / clear furnitures! esp mixing with woody things + black furnitures = YAS.

16. This would be perfect in a living room.

And Big Bang's Bae Bae is stuck in my head. WHY. I keep listening to it and singing along... WHY.

But their song Loser is actually good.

A Grief Observed / Christian Feminist

And so, perhaps, with God. I have gradually been coming to feel that the door is no longer shut and bolted. Was it my own frantic need that slammed it in my face? The time when there is nothing at all in your soul except a cry for help may be just the time when God can’t give it: you are like the drowning man who can’t be helped because he clutches and grabs. Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear.

On the other hand, ‘Knock and it shall be opened.’ But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac? And there’s also ‘To him that hath shall be given.’ After all, you must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence can’t give. Perhaps your own passion temporarily destroys the capacity.  

- A Grief Observed C.S. Lewis

I don't really have much to say about the book other than that this passage convicted me of a lot of things I've done/thought about/prayed about these past couple weeks.

A Grief Observed PDF:
https://korycapps.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/cs-lewis-a-grief-observed.pdf



Christian Feminist:

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. - Galatians 3:28 

One of many things I struggle with / have a hard time agreeing with is what the Bible says about gender role / gender identity / controversy over abortion in our society. I know I shouldn't take the bible word for word because I have a translated version and because a certain message can be interpreted in many ways. This is something I'm still researching and reading about. So when someone asks me, how are you both a Christian and a feminist, I can only respond by saying, I am too trying to figure that out.

Vegas recap and my summer

Vegas was amazing! It was nice to spend some quality time with family and all.
1st day
- got to Tropicana hotel at late at night
- went for a walk outside to see all the hotel lights and do tourist things but it was SO hot. It was 100 degrees at 11pm. So my brother couldn't stand it so he had to go back to the hotel with mom (and this happened throughout the trip / he hated walking)
2nd day
- moved to Mandarin Oriental hotel -- probably the most luxurious hotel I've stayed at. I loved everything about it.
- went to Mandalay Bay Aquarium to see sharks because my brother has never seen "big" sharks before
- went to Circus Circus to go to Adventure Dome which is a little amusement park that the hotel owns. It had one of the scariest roller coaster I've been on -- and I've been on A LOT of roller coasters because I love them. I think it was scary because I wasn't expecting it to be scary lol so the second time wasn't as scary. I went on it with my brother the first time and he got scared to death and the second time with my dad and he was screaming the entire time so I couldn't stop laughing. I love amusement park rides but I'm always scared that something might go wrong while I'm on them so I pray during every single ride.
- chilled at the hotel and I think we had dinner at a Korean restaurant and it was so expensive.
3rd day
- brunch buffet at Wicked Spoon. The BEST brunch I've had in my life. So much food and so many desserts to pick from. I had a major food baby.
- I think we did more touristy things and I think we swam? I don't remember.
- went to Shake Shack at New York New York and the burger was too greasy but I liked the fries.
- walked around with mom to see the fountain show at Bellagio and had amazing gelato at the Venetian hotel. Took a lot of pictures.
4th day
- Swam at the hotel
- I think it was like 112 degrees
- Moved to Vdara hotel. The room had a kitchen too and it was so modern and nice. Thank you mom and dad for spoiling me and brother.
- Dinner at Bacchanal buffet - apparently the "best" buffet. The desserts were better than Wicked Spoon but about the same food-wise. But again, it was so good. Why does Vegas have all the good buffets... Come to Oregon.
- O show at Bellagio was incredible. I do not remember Ka show since I saw it like 7 years ago and I guess it wasn't as impactful. But O show was so nice! I wish they played more instrumental music though because I really enjoyed listening to the cello.
5th day
- woke up very early to catch the flight and came home
------

Korea and MERS
- The virus needs to stop spreading. Seriously.
- LET ME GO TO KOREA AND VOLUNTEER.
- I had a nightmare that I couldn't go. A nightmare.

I've been spending my days doing absolutely nothing.
- It's been nice actually.. I've finished like 3 dramas and caught up on all the shows
- I'm literally a couch potato.
- I need to go out and get some vitamin D or move physically other than getting up to go to the bathroom or to the kitchen
- what should I do
- I have no idea what to do
- I'm leaving to korea in like 15 days so I don't have that much time left to like start anything like a job/volunteering/internship so what should I do

I love meeting/talking to people but I also like spending time alone
- I think this summer is a really nice break from college and socializing